The Passengers – John Marrs @johnmarrs1 @EburyPublishing @tr4cyf3nt0n #BlogTour


Today you are very excited. Today is the day that you take your first ride by yourself in your new Level 5 autonomous car. It’s dead flash. You’ve been shown how to programme the sat nav by the very helpful and overly toothsome salesperson, and now it is sitting proudly on your driveway after having driven itself here from the showroom. How swish is that? No fuss with collecting it, it was just waiting there when you got home from work. Totes amaze beans. You climb inside and stare at all of the lights and displays that confront you. After a spot of trial and error you locate the sat nav, speak your destination – no more typing anymore – and sit back to enjoy your ride. You even have a celebratory Pimms in your hand because drink driving is a thing of the past. You’ve also taken the liberty of bringing your favourite jigsaw with you just because you could and it fits perfectly onto the little retractable table. Awesome. The car trundles off as smooth as you like and without any noise at all. It feels odd at first, but you soon forget the feeling as you get stuck into your jigsaw. Those 2000 pieces ain’t gonna jig themselves together. You are just basking in the satisfaction of fitting two particularly troublesome pieces together when suddenly the car lurches left. What the…? Then it lurches right. Your Pimms spills all over the new seats. Well, that’s gonna stain and that piece of cucumber will be a bugger to retrieve. Over the next 40 minutes your car zigs and zags, turning sharply left and right, then back on itself and diagonally across fields and over gardens. You are scared stiff as you have absolutely no control over the car at all. People in other cars screech to a halt and pedestrians and gardeners leap out of the way yelling obscenities as you pass by. Eventually the car comes to a sudden stop, throwing you forwards into the control console. Dazed and covered in jigsaw pieces you stare at the sat nav display screen. Where the hell are you? What? You’re miles from home. What the hell happened? You’ll be calling the overly toothsome salesperson right away to complain in the sternest of fashions. You try to work out where you are and so you zoom the map out a bit. Then a bit more. Then a bit more. Your route is traced in red all over the county, but your shock and anger is slowly replaced by amazement and confusion as you look at the red line and begin to realise that it appears to form a pattern. You zoom out even further. How could it…? Is that…? Yes, yes it looks like it is. Good grief… It’s a blurb:

‘When someone hacks into the systems of eight self-drive cars, their passengers are set on a fatal collision course.

The passengers are: a TV star, a pregnant young woman, a disabled war hero, an abused wife fleeing her husband, an illegal immigrant, a husband and wife – and parents of two – who are travelling in separate vehicles and a suicidal man. Now the public have to judge who should survive but are the passengers all that they first seem?’

Continue reading “The Passengers – John Marrs @johnmarrs1 @EburyPublishing @tr4cyf3nt0n #BlogTour”

Call Me Star Girl – Louise Beech @louisewriter @orendabooks #Orentober


Call Me Star Girl Cover


Gooooooooooood morning Beardy Blog fans. Or, if you are reading this in the afternoon, gooooooooooood afternoon Beardy Blog fans. Or if you happen to be reading this in the evening, goooooooooooood evening Beardy Blog fans. Or, if you… oh, you get the flippin’ idea with that.

Today I am guessing that you are here to read my review of Call Me Star Girl by Louise Beech, no? If you haven’t then may I suggest you take this opportunity to leave now? I’m sure you will have better things to do. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

But if you are here for the review then WELCOME, and boy do I have a treat for you.

A treat you say? Oooh, I imagine you’re saying next, what could he mean by that?

Well, today you will be witness to the very first Beardy Book Blog… phone-in! That’s right, you read that correctly; a phone-in. I have been working tirelessly, tirelessly I tell you, to set up my very own radio station, just for this very review. I shall be asking the listeners to phone-in their very own thoughts about this wonderful book.

Now, I know what you are thinking: hold up you hairy buffoon, this is a written blog, how are we supposed to phone-in?

Well, I have thought of that actually and, obviously it’ll, ummm, clearly there will have to, um, I mean it goes without saying that, errr…….. shut up! Excellent, now we’ve cleared that up…

I’m very excited. Oh, I do hope that nothing goes wrong *crosses fingers emoji*

But first, let’s have a word from our wonderful sponsors: BlurbnationTaking the blah blah out of blurbs

“Pregnant Victoria Valbon was brutally murdered in an alley three weeks ago – and her killer hasn’t been caught.

Tonight is Stella McKeever’s final radio show. The theme is secrets. You tell her yours, and she’ll share some of hers.

Stella might tell you about Tom, a boyfriend who likes to play games, about the mother who abandoned her, now back after fourteen years. She might tell you about the perfume bottle with the star-shaped stopper, or about her father …

What Stella really wants to know is more about the mysterious man calling the station … who says he knows who killed Victoria, and has proof.

Tonight is the night for secrets, and Stella wants to know everything…

With echoes of the Play Misty for Me, Call Me Star Girl is a taut, emotive and all-consuming psychological thriller that plays on our deepest fears, providing a stark reminder that stirring up dark secrets from the past can be deadly…”

Continue reading “Call Me Star Girl – Louise Beech @louisewriter @orendabooks #Orentober”