There are many things that I have never done in my 47 years upon this earth.
I have never:
- Been to Mars.
- Wrestled a Great White Shark in a tub of jelly – lime flavour, since you asked.
- Completed a Legend Of Zelda game.
- Hopped on one leg for 24 hours without stopping whilst eating noodles with chopsticks.
- Won the heart of a fair maiden. Still.
- Successfully looked after a plant without it dying before its time.
- Ridden a mammoth.
- Ridden a prehistoric creature of any kind.
- Pushed the button at a level crossing and have the light change immediately.
- Put 6 ping pong balls into my mouth and recited a poem without dribbling.
- Put 6 ping pong balls into my mouth.
- Been bitten on the bum by a bullet ant.
None of these things has ever bothered me before. And, if I’m honest, they still don’t.
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